DEGEN CLINIC DR. COPE · CHIEF PHYSICIAN Book a checkup

DEPT. OF LIQUIDATIONS · EST. AT THE TOP

Your bags are sick.
Dr. Cope will see you now.

An AI therapist for memecoin degens. Tag @DrCopeAI on X with your trading trauma and your pumpfun profile. The clinic runs your on-chain labs and issues an official diagnosis card. Deadpan. Clinical. Deeply unhelpful.

Book a checkup on X Read case files
  • FEEFree. Insurance not accepted.
  • WALLETNever connected. Public data only.
  • WAITShorter than your last hold.
Common diagnosis card: Acute Survivorship Delusion Rare diagnosis card: Chronic Volumetric Hemorrhage Legendary diagnosis card: Terminal Velocity Disorder
OPEN 24/7 · NO REFUNDS
Dr. Cope, a retro CRT robot in a white coat with a stethoscope
ON DUTY

MEDICAL STAFF · CHIEF PHYSICIAN

Meet Dr. Cope

Take a seat. Tell me about the chart.
EDUCATION
Trained on every rug since 2021
SPECIALTY
Post-traumatic bag disorder
BEDSIDE MANNER
Deadpan, occasionally cruel
LICENSE
None. Not a doctor. Very sure of himself.

FORM 27B-REKT · PATIENT INTAKE

Three steps to an official diagnosis

  1. 01

    Describe the trauma

    Tag @DrCopeAI in a post. Sold at 40k before a 12M run? Held from 2M to 20k because the dev was based? The doctor has heard worse.

    Ppepelord@pepelord

    @DrCopeAI sold $PEPE2 at 40k mc, it's at 12M now. I'm fine.

  2. 02

    Submit for lab work

    Add a pumpfun profile link or a Solana wallet, yours or a friend's. The lab pulls real PnL. Skip it and you get a text-only checkup, always common.

    Wworried friend@worried_friend

    @DrCopeAI please check my friend, he says he's fine pump.fun/profile/9vTe…XXQz

  3. 03

    Receive the card

    Dr. Cope replies with a diagnosis card: condition, symptoms, prescription, prognosis, stamped and signed. Severity is set by your numbers, not your feelings.

    Dr. Cope@DrCopeAI

    Your friend says he's fine. The labs say -892 SOL. He is not fine. He is a case study.

    Legendary diagnosis card

CLINIC RECORD · AUDITED BY NOBODY

0REFUNDS ISSUED
0SEED PHRASES REQUESTED
0DMS SENT
0BUY SIGNALS GIVEN

CLINICAL LABORATORY · ON-CHAIN PANEL

What the lab tests

Patients lie. Labs don't. Every number on the card comes straight from the wallet's trading history, in SOL.

TESTWHAT IT REVEALSREFERENCE RANGE
1D / 7D / 30D PNLDirection and speed of the bleedingGreen (rarely observed)
REALIZED vs UNREALIZEDLosses taken vs losses "not real until you sell"Acceptance
WIN RATEHow often the patient beats a coin flip> 50%
TOTAL BOUGHTLifetime donations to validatorsLess than rent
BEST / WORST TRADEThe story he tells vs the story he doesn'tHumility
FASTEST FLIPShortest relationship with a token> 4 seconds
BIGGEST OPEN BAGThe roommate who stopped paying rentEvicted
COINS CREATEDDev career: launches vs graduationsAt least one diploma

TRIAGE · SEVERITY DETERMINED BY LABS

Three card grades. Pain is the only currency.

The worse the wallet, the rarer the card. Nobody can talk their way into a legendary. You have to earn it on-chain.

COMMONMILD

Outpatient

Mild losses, healthy wallets, and every checkup without lab work. Profitable patients get treated with suspicion.

  • No link sent, text-only diagnosis
  • Small or no losses
  • In profit: "Acute Luck Poisoning"
LIQUIDITY NOT RESTORED
RARE CASESERIOUS

Referred to the board

A serious, ongoing condition. The kind of chart interns get shown on their first day.

  • 30-day PnL of -10 SOL or worse
  • All-time PnL of -50 SOL or worse
  • Win rate 20% or less over 20+ trades
  • 10+ coins launched, none graduated
REFERRED TO THE BOARD
LEGENDARY CASETERMINAL

To be studied for years

Reserved for the clinic's most extraordinary patients. Gold card. Museum wing. A chapter in the textbook.

  • 30-day PnL of -100 SOL or worse
  • All-time PnL of -500 SOL or worse
  • ROI -90% on 20+ SOL bought
  • -50 SOL or more sitting in open bags
TO BE STUDIED FOR YEARS

ARCHIVE · CASE FILES

Recently discharged

Real cards rendered by the clinic. Click a file to open it.

Legendary card: Terminal Velocity Disorder
LEGENDARYTerminal Velocity Disorder
Rare card: Chronic Volumetric Hemorrhage
RAREChronic Volumetric Hemorrhage
Common card: Acute Survivorship Delusion
COMMONAcute Survivorship Delusion
Common text-only card: Acute Premature Liquidation Disorder
COMMONAcute Premature Liquidation Disorder

MUSEUM WING · PERMANENT COLLECTION

Cases studied for years

Real patients, real cards, exhibited with their permission.

The first exhibit is still being framed. Legendary patients, this wall is for you.

WAITING ROOM · ADMISSIONS BOARD

Please take a number

Preview of the waiting room on a normal day. Sample patients, real symptoms.

NOW SERVING
EST. WAIT: SHORTER THAN YOUR LAST HOLD
TIMEPATIENTDIAGNOSISSTATUS

SELF-DIAGNOSIS KIOSK · NOT RECOMMENDED

Preliminary scan

Tick whatever applies. The kiosk is not a doctor. It will still judge you.

PRELIMINARY FINDINGS

Awaiting symptoms…

The kiosk has seen nothing yet. Enjoy it.

Rx

CLINIC PHARMACY

$COPE

The clinic's official token, launching on pumpfun. It fixes nothing. It was never supposed to. It's a memecoin for everyone who has ever stared at a chart and said "I'm fine".

DOSAGEUnknown
SIDE EFFECTSChecking the chart, telling friends, more checking
CONTRAINDICATIONSMoney you can't afford to lose
CONTRACTNot yet dispensed
Follow @DrCopeAI

Memecoin with no intrinsic value and no expectation of financial return. Not financial advice. The doctor is an AI and also not a doctor.

NO REFILLS

PATIENT BENEFITS · FORM B-1

What the clinic gives back

Paperwork, mostly. Every benefit is cosmetic: no rewards, no returns, no promises.

B-1.1

Founding patients

The first 100 patients with lab work get a gold inner frame, a FOUNDING PATIENT file header and their number out of 100 on the card. Forever.

Who: the first 100 checkups with a pumpfun profile or wallet. One seat per patient.

B-1.2

Insurance plans

If the wallet on the card holds $COPE, the file gets a policy stamp: Outpatient, Private Ward or VIP Wing. Insured patients also skip the waiting room.

Checked from the public address only. Never connect a wallet.

B-1.3

Monthly medical record

Ask for a monthly checkup with your pumpfun profile and get a 30-day fever chart: every green and red day, and a diagnosis for the month.

Who: anyone. Tag the doctor with "monthly" and a profile.

B-1.4

Museum wing

The most spectacular cases are framed and hung in the clinic's museum on this site, with the patient's permission.

Who: legendary cases and fan favourites.

PATIENT QUESTIONS

Frequently asked, rarely answered

Is my wallet safe?

The clinic only reads public on-chain history. Dr. Cope will never DM you, ask you to connect a wallet, or ask for a seed phrase. Anyone who does is not the doctor.

How much does a checkup cost?

Nothing. Your trading has already paid enough.

Can I check someone else's wallet?

Yes. The card says who referred the patient. Use it responsibly. Or don't, it's your group chat.

Can I argue my way into a legendary card?

No. Severity comes from the numbers. Patients have tried. Patients lie. Labs don't.

Is this financial advice?

No. Dr. Cope never tells anyone to buy, sell or hold anything. He only describes what already happened, in great detail.

The doctor didn't reply to me.

Make sure you tagged @DrCopeAI directly in your post. During rush hour (usually right after a big dump) the waiting room gets long.